Girl Solutions (The One's You Wish You Were Just Born With)

So about 2 weeks ago, I met a girl. She's a new girl at my work. I wish I never met her. Cuz I have a crazy ass crush on her now. And in 2 weeks, I leave to study abroad in Italy for 4 months. I don't know how to tell her I feel this way. I bet she knows too. I always call her and make eye contact with her at work. I don't know why I'm being such a pussy. I should just tell her.

But I wonder how she feels towards me?
She doesn't really like me that much? Oh no! The world is over!...lol...not... I guess that's the worst thing that could happen though. I'm just too nervous to find out.

But what if she likes me? Now I gotta deal with this when I'm about to be out of the country. Fuck that! I'm going to Italy and I'm gonna hang out with some sexy Italian chicks. I don't wanna be in any relationship. It would be nice to fool around though (tehehe fooling around bahahaha like play tricks on eachother hahahaha! I'm just joking around. Whisney gets it) Yea! Fooling around! Free love! 1960's. Wish I was there.

I've been living the single life most of my career. Was in a relationship. Haven't been in one for about 10 months. feels pretty damn good too. Mostly cuz my ex-girlfriend sucked! Just had to throw that out there. What a fuckin bitch! alright. got some off my chest. Single is cool but I do get lonely sometimes.

What's cool about this girl, is that she knows my ex-girlfriend and also hates her. So we can just make fun of her together. It's not just that though. She's really really pretty, has a good sense of humor (always a plus), has good style (another plus), we have similar lifestyles, etc. She's Russian too. Just like me. Which is weird cuz i'm usually super turned off by Russian chicks. But she's not oober russian. Just kinda like whatever. If that makes sense. Watching her speak Russian with my mom was entertaining though.

So yeah. I've been hanging out with her lately. Never really made a move. I don't work like that. I move slow. But that's the thing. It's not like I want to work slow. I'm just uncomfortable working faster since I lack the necessary confidence. And this guy at my work has been talking to her now. And I bet he moves a lot quicker than I do which intimidates me. Especially since he's older and just seems to have more confidence than I do.

All 3 of us hung out. It was a fun time for sure. We went to Mystic Lake. But I felt nervous. As if she was more interested in him than me that night. Maybe I was trippin, but it almost felt like a competition. Which sucks cuz that's the last thing I want. I don't want her to be some prize object. She's just a girl that I happen to really like and just hope that she likes me back...and not him....After the casino, we stayed at her place and hung out. No way I was gonna leave first. Too afraid he'd pull a move on her. She ended up kicking both of us out at like 4am.

He's actually a cool guy. Don't get me wrong. We have stuff in common. He likes Phish and plays guitar. I just wish he wasn't getting so close to her.

I didn't call her last night. Just thought it would be pointless and give her a break from my daily calls. Mistake! I see her today at work. Asked her what she did last night. Said he came over. Fuck! Yeah, you guys know what's on my mind. I totally had an open window the first week I met her when It was just me and her hanging out and I blew it. Why did he have to bud in now?

But still, I get these texts from her that shows some interest from her into me because she wants to know if I work with her so she can see me. Or she'll ask me to hang out for the 30 minutes she's on break. I wish girls didn't mess with my head so much.

Andy Whisney is one of my closest friends I have. We always tell each other our problems and try our best to give good advice and support. He told me I had to tell her all of this. Easier said than done. So I was gonna tell her tonight because we were supposed to hang out. I was waiting for her call though since she had to do some stuff with one of her girlfriends first. Said she'd give me a call when she would get back home. I totally thought negative that she forgot about me cuz it was like 1 in the morning and still no call. Eventually she calls at 1:30. Says I can come over but it would be pointless if I did because her and her friend are just laying in bed and about to watch lost and probably go to bed by the time I get there. But all these thoughts have been building up in my head, I just had to say something. I told her that I had to tell her something. But not on the phone. It was awkward. We decided I'll call her tomorrow. I hope she doesn't think I'm a creeper. But yeah, that's where I'm at right now. Wish I never said it.

What a pointless blog post. I just babbled so much you guys are probably like what the fuck are you talking about max? Finally off my chest though. Now I just gotta tell her this shit.

Good Night